The Earl Of Scandal (Regency Romance) Page 6

  Humbershire looked out the window. There was nothing to see on a country road at night but dark shapes, like monsters.

  “Do as you please,” he said. “It has been a privilege to have danced with you.”

  Chapter 8

  Weeks had passed since the ball. The duke forbade Emily from paying any more visits to London for fear she would run into Lord Ashencrest again. Humbershire worried about him and what the man could make her feel. The duke was right to think that way. Emily tried to fulfill her duty to him, but it was difficult whenever she saw Ashencrest. Her only defense was to avoid the temptation. Humbershire saw how she yearned for another whenever they were together, and it made him sick. But letting her go now was the last thing he would do. He had promises to keep as well.

  Emily spent some of her days at his country estate, trying her best to learn to love him. She knew time would make everything better. It had to. A small table and chairs had been set out in the garden. They were placed at the top of a hill, looking down over his manicured land. A glance across the sweeping expanse of it took her breath away. The grass was well kept, and the hedges were trimmed into various shapes. Flowers dotted the countryside with color. The beauty of it seemed to stretch on forever. The garden she adored at home was shabby in comparison. Emily thought about the magnificent paintings and wonderful poems she could create with this as her inspiration. Or was it another person who was so enthralled with art? Emily wished she could still be that person, but she had created nothing worthwhile since the duke came into her life. It was all very simple before. She had thought it would be that way forever. Perhaps it never is.

  They sat at the table together. Cuthbert served a ham and freshly baked bread for their luncheon. Emily tried to enjoy the fresh air and the food, but it was difficult. There was a tightness in her chest. Guilt gnawed at her soul. Even while with her fiance, all she could think about was Lord Ashencrest. What was he doing right then? Had he found another woman to stave off the loneliness? It would hurt her terribly, but she wouldn’t blame him if he had. There was no way they could ever be together again.

  “Are you all right?” said Humbershire.

  “I am fine. There is so much beauty to enjoy here. It would take a lifetime to get used to it.”

  “The day you get used to seeing what is beautiful is the day you lose the magic of it.”

  “I do not think there is any magic left in the world.”

  The duke shook his head. “Have I robbed you of that so quickly? It was never my intention. You still had excitement within you when we met.”

  “I was in a dream. Excitement is only naivete.”

  “That thought is the first step toward death.”

  “I am quite sure I will make it through the year, Your Grace.”

  “The death of whatever drives you to live can be worse than really dying. It can be worse than anything.”

  “Then what was it that destroyed your life?”

  The duke frowned at her. “The life of a duke cannot be destroyed. It is always exceptional. What makes you think there is anything wrong with mine?”

  “I have known it from the start. Your sullen attitude. Your refusal to do most anything fun. These are the marks of a man who has given up.”

  “After what happened at the ball, you know very well why having fun is overrated. I tried to indulge you with that and paid dearly. Anything you do can always lead to more problems.”

  “And anything you do, every moment, this one right now, is your life.”

  He paused for a long time before answering that. “My life ended on the day that my wife closed her eyes for the last time. My love for her reached beyond the stars of heaven. I still feel it to this day. She was the woman of my dreams.”

  Emily’s eyes grew wide. “You have been married before?”

  “Yes. Haven’t your parents told you anything?”

  She didn’t speak a word. How could her parents keep so much from her?

  The duke chuckled with little joy behind it. “So we are both liars, then. Your father has corrupted us.”

  “What does my father have to do with any of this? And why do you even wish to marry me if you are still in love with your late wife? It makes no sense. There is nothing I can offer you.”

  “You can give me my untarnished honor back. Mr. Brookes convinced my father that our families should be joined in order to offer you a better life. Everything was arranged. I was compelled to give my word that I would marry you when you came of age. But I met my wife while I was waiting, and she was everything I needed. Not honor, or loyalty, or peace. Just her. My father never acknowledged her existence. He went to his death, hating me for going back on my word and betraying the family. I want to marry you to make things right again.”

  “With who?”

  He shrugged. “With me. I am the only one I have left.”

  “My father should have told me the truth so as not to make a fool of me. I have a right to know the truth.”

  “What is right, Miss Brookes? And what is truth? Everyone has a different idea of them both. Do you want to tell me the whole truth about your Lord Ashencrest?”

  The dead silence devoured them. It felt awkward in the garden. Neither one touched the food as it grew colder and colder. She was living in a lie she could never have imagined possible.

  ***

  Emily rushed to find her parents as soon as she arrived home. That gentle countenance of hers had disappeared, replaced by anger and uncontainable sadness.

  “Father, tell me what really happened. Has the Duke of Humbershire been married before?”

  Mr. Brookes looked up from the book he was reading. “How did you find out about this?”

  “Just answer me!”

  Mrs. Brookes stopped her knitting. “Oh, my dear… Please calm yourself.”

  “I do not want to be calm. I want to know!”

  “Then you shall.” Mr. Brookes stood up as he gathered his thoughts. “The Duke of Humbershire’s father was a great friend of mine, in spite of the difference in our social status. Many years ago, when you were only a child, I asked if he might consider a marriage one day, between you and his son. To my amazement, he readily agreed. His son, however, turned out to be more willful than expected, and taken with the idea of love. Strangely enough, he had very similar thoughts to your own on the matter. The little bounder ran off to Gretna Green and eloped. I thought that would be the end of it. The years passed. Sadly, illness took his wife from him. I heard about it, but never expected the duke to contact me, offering to satisfy the obligation he made.”

  Tears trickled down her face. She forced herself to speak through them. “How could you promise me away at such a young age?”

  “I did it to protect you.”

  “From what?”

  “The world. It can be cruel if you let it. I was able to shield you from some of it with my money, but a duchess is kept safe from so much more pain.”

  “All my life, I have been sheltered in this house without the opportunity to go exploring. I never had the chance to find a suitor of my choice as I was not permitted to mingle with others. You have manipulated the course of my existence without a care for my feelings.”

  “Please understand my choice. I meant you no harm. You are a daughter after my own heart. You and your sister mean the world to us both.” He reached out for her.

  Emily stepped away. “No. I am of age to decide for myself. And though society may critique the choices I make, at least they will be mine.”

  She turned and left the drawing room.

  ***

  Night had fallen. It was moonless and dark. The Duke of Humbershire was still sitting beside the table in the garden, slouching and defeated. He could no longer see the field or the flowers that were so vibrant by daylight. To be alone with his thoughts was unnerving. Cuthbert carried a lantern toward him from the house.

  “Please come inside, Your Grace. You have been out here for hours and the servants worry about
you.”

  The duke was slow to turn his head and address his footman. “You are a man of considerable knowledge, are you not?”

  “I would like to think so, sir.”

  “You have seen Miss Brookes and Lord Ashencrest together. Do you think she would dare to meet him again?”

  Cuthbert considered it for a while before answering. “The mind commands the heart to beat, but the heart dictates what the mind will think. True love is audacious and shall conquer many trials. By the looks of it, her feelings for this man are deep. Sooner or later, they will drive her to him, no matter what the cost.”

  The duke stared out into the dark again. “If you live long enough, honor is the only thing you have left.”

  The footman stood behind him with the lantern for half the night.

  Chapter 9

  Lord Ashencrest stood at the window of his drawing room, looking down on the people below. He watched them on the crowded sidewalk, rushing through their lives. London was such a busy place. He thought of Emily, wondering if she was somewhere in the city, busy herself. Did she ever think of him? Was she happy enough to forget everything else as she gave herself to a loveless relationship with the duke? He wanted to see her so badly that he couldn’t stand it. To hold her in his arms would be heaven. He hated the duke for the best reason in the world. The man kept him from her.

  One of the footmen came in to announce a gentleman he wasn’t acquainted with. Lord Ruddyard was a solemn man with hard features. He handed Ashencrest a sealed envelope.

  “I have come on behalf of the Duke of Humbershire,” he said.

  “What business do I have with him?”

  “The worst kind. He challenges you to settle a public matter in a private way.”

  Ashencrest grinned as he read the letter. “Let him know I would not dream of turning down such a kind invitation. I will meet His Grace where he wishes.”

  “I trust that we can also count on your discretion.”

  The man left as quickly as he had arrived. Ashencrest looked out his window again. He crumpled the letter in his fist. It would end up in the fireplace later on.

  ***

  Days had come and gone since Emily’s argument with her father. The wound was still fresh. Her heart ached for the battered life she lead. The desire to make amends was not there. Helena had tried to explain everything their parents did. There was a lot said about good intentions and the way of the world, but nothing mattered. Emily’s trust in her family was torn to pieces by what happened.

  Dinner was usually a merry event, but tension hung in the air as the Brookes family ate in silence. The silverware clinking on plates seemed loud enough to fill the room. No one dared to speak. Starting a conversation had the potential to turn a fine meal into another occasion for incivility. Emily ate slowly, disinterested in being there at all. Mr. Brookes kept his eyes down on his food. Mrs. Brookes kept watch over them both through these difficult moments. As the meal progressed, it became more and more of a challenge for her to endure it.

  “This is absurd,” said Mrs. Brookes. “How long can we all live in silence? Emily, you and your father ought to speak to each other, regardless of what happened.”

  Mr. Brookes looked up from his plate. “Let her take the time she needs. I am certain everything will be fine before long.”

  Emily made no gesture to reveal an intention to talk to her father, though deep inside, she wanted to. It had been impossible to sleep the last few nights. Anger was a burden to carry, its chains wrapping around her and weighing her down.

  Mrs. Brookes wrinkled her brow with worry. “Emily, my dear, do not make it hard for yourself to let go of the past. Anger only lasts for a while. Family is forever. Please speak to your father. He is very contrite for what he has done.”

  “I most certainly am not,” said Mr. Brookes.

  His wife was exasperated. “Do you not understand how peacemaking works?”

  “I understand it well enough to know it cannot be done with lies. All I wanted was for Emily to have a life that would be better than money can provide. My closest friend was a duke, so I asked about an arrangement with his son. What is so wrong with that?”

  “The duke’s title was not important to her.”

  “It was important to you.”

  “Tread lightly, Mr. Brookes, unless you want all the women in your life to stop speaking to you.”

  “Well, you are the one who pushed me to find her a suitor.”

  “Not through clandestine dealings and twenty-year-old pacts with your friends.”

  “I was happy to give her a few more years to meet a nice young man on her own, but you had to catch someone right away. Do you think it’s easy to produce eligible suitors?”

  “Is that what you call him? The Duke of Humbershire has all the charm of an undertaker.”

  “Would you two please stop this bickering?” Emily raised her voice.

  Her parents were stunned to hear her speak at all.

  “You have no idea how much my heart aches,” she continued. “And worse yet, you do not understand why it would.”

  “Of course we do,” said her father. “You are annoyed because the duke is not to your liking.”

  “I am annoyed because you thrust him upon me.”

  “Your mother thrust this whole thing upon me. I cannot help it if His Grace is the only member of the peerage I had on hand.”

  “Are you really going to continue blaming me all night?” said Mrs. Brookes.

  “There is no blame in revealing how things happen. I do not think either of us would want to force Emily to marry a man without her consent. We only wish to guarantee her the life she deserves. The duke seemed like the only one who could do so.”

  “Would you please stop talking about me as if I were not sitting here?” said Emily. “That is also annoying. But the worst part of all this is that you kept me isolated for my whole life.”

  Mr. Brookes looked confused. “No more isolated than is normal.”

  “You know it was more than that. I hardly left the property as I was growing up. When I was of age, there were no balls or country dances. I did not even have a proper gown to attend one in.”

  “We were trying to protect you.”

  “You were trying to seclude me. I can only guess at the reason.”

  “What reason could we possibly have for something like that?”

  “To honor the agreement you made with your friend. To keep me away from everyone else so I would be available to marry the duke.”

  “That is preposterous!”

  “It makes a great deal of sense,” said Emily.

  “Do you really think I would groom you for anyone else’s benefit? You are my daughter. I have only your interests in mind.”

  “We should tell her the whole truth if that is what will cure this,” said Mrs. Brookes.

  Her husband’s face softened. “There is no need to bring that up.”

  “It is time we did. Secrets and lies cause so much pain in the end.” She shifted in her chair, uneasily. “You are right, Emily. You were more sheltered than you should have been. But you cannot blame your father for it. I wanted to protect you to that extent, to keep you close to home. It is my fault entirely.”

  “But why?”

  “I did not want to lose you. It terrified me, in fact.” It was grueling for Mrs. Brookes to continue. “You were born soon after the death of your brother.”

  “I had a brother?” Emily’s eyes widened in disbelief.

  “He died at birth. We have never spoken about it. I did not think I could have another child after that. And then you came along, my sweet, beautiful girl. All I wanted to do in the world was protect you, so I kept you close to home. I thought nothing would ever harm you that way. I never realized I might be harming you myself.”

  Emily didn’t know how to feel about the situation anymore. Old anger and new revelations were battling inside her. There was a dull pain in her chest from the emotional tumult.
That tense sensation escalated into agony, traveling through her body then into her throat. A scream was building, and it would be so loud that it would shatter every window in the room. The servants would have to put their hands over their ears. People may even hear it in town. And then there was nothing. The scream never came. Her mother was on the verge of tears. Her father looked concerned.

  “You did the best you could,” said Emily. “You both did. I will not hold that against you for another second. But my heart aches for the prospect of marrying the Duke of Humbershire. I cannot change that. He is a man of little optimism and is cursed with such a sullen character. To tell the truth, I am quite smitten with someone else. So much so that I cannot stand it.”

  “Is this the fellow from the Bartholomew Fair?” said Mrs. Brookes.

  “What fellow?” said Mr. Brookes.

  Emily turned red. “Did Helena tell you all of it?”

  Her father looked back and forth between the two of them. “No one tells me anything.”

  Mrs. Brookes tapped her fingertips rhythmically on the table while examining her daughter’s face. “How much is there to tell?”

  Emily looked away. “Only as much as you have heard, I’m sure.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Well, there is definitely more than I have heard,” said Mr. Brookes. “What is going on?”

  “I wish to cancel the wedding.” Emily blurted it out. Anything was better than having to explain the fair. “Being married to the duke would be like throwing myself into the furnace of hell.”

  “If I had known a duke when I was your age, I would be burning still,” said Mrs. Brookes, under her breath.

  Her husband glared at her. She slid down in her chair and swallowed hard. He turned back to Emily. A look of disappointment came across his face.

  “It breaks my heart to know your decision,” he said. “But you are old enough to make it on your own, so I must let you. Do what you think is right and do it with my blessing.”

  “Thank you so much, father.”

  Emily smiled. It was the first time she had in days. She pushed her chair out, and ran over to him. He hardly had time to get up before she embraced him. He rubbed her back.