A Marquess To Love And Despise Read online

  A Marquess To Love And Despise

  Rebecca Dash

  Copyright

  Copyright © 2018

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced in any format, by any means, electronic or otherwise, without prior consent from the copyright owner and publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. All characters, names, places and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

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  Chapter 1

  Joanna’s fork clanked loudly on the plate. She missed the roast she aimed for and was sure everyone had noticed. It was a challenge to get hold of her food as nervous as she was. Joanna told herself she ought to stop it, to force herself to, if need be. The other guests would surely think she was in her cups. It was important for Baron Dunbrook’s daughter to control herself, even under extreme circumstances. And this was far more extreme than usual.

  With dozens of people sitting around an enormous table, the dinner party was anything but intimate. Her father wasn’t aware that The Marquess of Ayle would be there. The baron would never have attended had he known. And he certainly wouldn’t have brought his wife and oldest daughter with him.

  Joanna’s mother glared at Ayle with daggers in her eyes, even though she tried not to for propriety’s sake. Her father was much better at hiding contempt in public. They had to keep up appearances, no matter how understandable the reason for the hatred was. Animosity had no place at dinner parties.

  Lord Ayle glanced down the table at Joanna. The briefest motion was all he would dare. She heard he was supposed to be in London for the month, but he showed up for dinner in the country anyway. It wasn’t fair to put him in front of her like that.

  She looked at her plate, not wanting there to be any chance that their eyes would meet again. Not wanting to fall to his charms again. She found him quite irresistible from the start. It was more than just the handsome face, although a strong jaw and high cheekbones were never a bad thing on anyone. It was his fine manners, and a sense of humor that complimented her own. A man who could make her laugh could always make her swoon.

  But her father had expressed his wishes in no uncertain terms. Joanna watched the baron from her place much farther down the table. She knew his expressions too well to accept the charade. Lord Dunbrook was seething even though he sat quite a distance away from the marquess. Thank Heaven it was a formal dinner and people were seated according to rank. Joanna was pleased not to be the daughter of an earl or a duke. That would have given her father a high enough rank to sit near the man. And possibly to launch himself across the table in an attempt to get a firm grip around his throat and wring the life from him.

  She could picture it in vivid detail even if Dunbrook was normally such a gentle soul with refined sensibilities. When one of his daughters was mistreated, he became a lion. Lord Ayle’s younger brother and Joanna’s younger sister had been engaged to be married. The arrangement fell apart, ruining the girl’s reputation and dashing all hope of finding another gentleman of worth. The entire situation made Dunbrook angrier than he had ever been. Angrier than Joanna had seen a man become. It was enough for the baron to yearn for the opportunity to inflict some vengeance on the family. Anyone in it at all.

  But there had never been an occasion for it before. She hoped a real chance wouldn’t truly present itself now. Joanna was thrilled about the difference in rank. It would be okay. Her family would finish the most uncomfortable meal of their lives. That was all. A small grin formed as she pondered what would come next. The ladies would go into the drawing room to talk while enjoying a cup of tea. The men would stay in the dining room to drink brandy and discuss less genteel matters. And that was precisely when her father would kill Lord Ayle in front of everyone. Joanna’s fork screeched across the plate. She finally gave up, put it down, and wrung her hands together underneath the table, instead.

  “Are you all right?” said the gentleman beside her.

  “Perfectly fine. I get nervous at these formal affairs. That is all.”

  “There is nothing to be nervous about, Miss Nicholson. Although I will confess that my stomach was in knots when I first attended an event such as this. But it is just polite conversation mixed with a bit of good cheer. Surely you do not have a problem with that?”

  “It sounds harmless when you put it in such a way. What could be wrong with cheer?”

  “There is no other way to describe it.”

  Joanna forced herself to smile. She could think of several ways to describe such a meeting. A proper basting at the ready. A facer waiting to take place. The clock was ticking toward the inevitable confrontation she feared so much.

  Chapter 2

  Joanna stood outside the manor with her parents. After dinner, her mother faked a terrible headache, and they left before the men and the women even had the chance to go their separate ways. No one spoke as they waited for the carriage to arrive.

  Lord Ayle watched them furtively from the doorway. His heart beat faster while contemplating what he was driven to do. It was not a great idea. Possibly the worst one he ever had in his life. But when would there be another chance? When would he see Joanna again? Surely he would not be allowed to pay them a visit after what his brother did to their family. He understood that sentiment completely. Many months had gone by, but that manner of wound may last forever.

  He might run into Joanna some day, just as fate had intervened that night. But kismet was never guaranteed. If this was the only opportunity, would he be able to live with himself if it was squandered? He cared for her a great deal. They grew to know each other well while their siblings were engaged. More so than either of them revealed to others. It was their secret.

  Ayle cleared his throat as he approached from behind. “It is a lovely night, Miss Nicholson.”

  All the color left her face.

  A single moment into the conversation and he already wondered if he made a horrible mistake. Maybe it wasn’t just her father’s doing. Perhaps Joanna hated him too, and never wanted to see him again, even after all the delightful times they shared. Did the mere sight of him bring back too many bad memories for the entire family?

  “How dare you speak to her.” Dunbrook’s nostrils flared.

  “I only wish to inquire as to how she is.”

  “Then you may inquire it of me, but do not ever speak to my daughter again.”

  “I am asking it now, Lord Dunbrook.”

  “Very well then. The answer is that it is none of your concern.”

  “It used to be. I still think fondly of Miss Nicholson.”

  “And why is that?”

  “When our families made merry together, she always stood out, as some people have the gift to do.”

  “I see.” Dunbrook spoke curtly. “What used to be, what was, and what might have been, have all changed very much over time.”

  “I am not my brother.”

  “And it is lucky for you that you are not. If I ever have the misfortune of crossing his path again, it will take pistols to settle this matter.”

  “Do not make threats, sir. They are unbecoming of a man of your station.”

  “What do you know about my station? What do you know about proper decorum, decency, or honor? They are all concepts to be bandied about in your family. For good men, these are more than words used to placate society.”

  Ayle shook his he
ad, unwilling to justify his morality to anyone.

  “What your brother did was reprehensible,” continued Dunbrook.

  “It was. If I could change anything, I would. If I could take back the hardship that you have suffered because of the way he treated Miss Phyllis, I would do that as well. But I have no control over the things he does.”

  “And what about the things you do? What would your intentions be in speaking to Joanna now?”

  She could not stay silent any longer even if it was the safest thing to do. “Father, I would like to...”

  An angry look from Lord Dunbrook made the words catch in her throat. Joanna locked onto his stare before turning away. It was a significant, if short lived, protest.

  “Speaking to her is natural,” said Ayle. “Miss Nicholson and I were fond of each other over the course of my brother’s relationship. I still find her to be quite agreeable. These months spent being suddenly isolated from her pleasant disposition have been difficult.”

  “What has been difficult is that your brother jilted my daughter, Phyllis, just days before the wedding, condemning her to misery. How would you expect me to secure another husband for her after that?” The baron’s hands clenched into fists. “And now you are here attempting to speak with my other daughter. Have you no shame? It is the height of temerity to express any sentiment toward her when you already know my feelings on the matter.”

  “I am bold because I care for her. What else would you have me do?”

  “I would have you kick the bucket in the most uncomfortable way possible.” Dunbrook took a step toward the man. “I would have a pianoforte fall on your head. I would have the only heir to your title be a mangy dalmatian with a penchant for lunacy. It would be a fitting end to the line.”

  “Just the same, I can do nothing else but try. I once promised that I would always look after her.”

  “You can leave us alone to grieve my daughter’s ruination. When your brother left her, I knew exactly what your family was like. Your words mean nothing. Your promises are useless here.”

  Lord Ayle noticed Joanna staring at him as she stood behind her parents and took a red fan from her reticule. The subtle language of it was the only way open to her.

  She kept the fan shut. Do you still love me?

  “My promises and my brother’s promises are two different things.” Ayle kept speaking to her father, even as he glanced at her. “I always keep mine.”

  “Words,” said Dunbrook. “Nothing but empty words. Your brother was full of them as well.”

  “But how can I be held accountable for what went on between them?”

  “I hold you accountable. I hold your entire family accountable for such a detestable act. Phyllis can never reclaim the good name she enjoyed.”

  Joanna opened the fan and put it against her heart. I love you painfully.

  “I know what he has done.” Ayle could not stop the smile from turning his lips.

  “And you find it so amusing?” Dunbrook raised his voice.

  “Not in the slightest.” That jovial expression dropped as he remembered himself.

  “You do not hide your true feelings well at all. It is insulting that you try. Never come near my family again.”

  Joanna shut the fan and held it to her right eye. When can I see you?

  Ayle looked directly at her father. “Not even tomorrow?”

  “Of all the impudent addle pates I have met in my life, you are the worst.” The baron was shouting by then. “Not tomorrow, not the day after, and not a year after that. Never!”

  Joanna rested the fan on her right cheek. Yes.

  Ayle got lost in it again. “What time?”

  “Time for what? Pistols? Dawn is acceptable, sir.” Dunbrook’s wife touched his arm to soothe him. It had little effect.

  “Certainly not,” said Ayle. “I have no desire to duel you.”

  “If you speak to my daughter again, your desire will not make a difference. Your only choice will be to settle this matter or stand and be shot.”

  Joanna closed the fan until only three of its sticks were visible. Three.

  “I would not miss it.”

  “Being shot?” said Dunbrook. “Drop by the estate and I will arrange it.”

  Ayle shook his head. “When will you forgive what my brother has done?”

  “As soon as Old Scratch and the Archbishop of Canterbury have tea and biscuits together.”

  “It would serve you well to let go of all that hatred. It is like a prison. The prisoner is you.”

  “Mark my words. Even if I live a long life, every day of it will be spent loathing your family.”

  Ayle glanced at Joanna again. “Are you sure? This is insane.”

  “I am positive!” said Dunbrook. “I have never been so sure of anything in my life.”

  She tilted her head to the side, looking into the sky and rubbing her chin as if considering the options. Ayle was transfixed. Joanna smiled.

  She touched the handle of the fan to her lips. Kiss me.

  Ayle took a deep breath before addressing her father again.

  “Did you know my brother and Miss Phyllis had a secret place?” he said.

  “What is that to me? What is that even to them right now?”

  “It is more than anything else in their memories. People who are in love and have a secret place will always be in love there, in that lost time. It lives on, no matter what becomes of them. Its existence means they cared for each other very much at one point. What more can anyone ask for? And how can we second guess whatever went wrong after that?”

  “I am well aware of what went wrong. Your brother is a rake. He should have stayed in love if he wanted to be. But that is not in his nature. I do not know, nor do I care about their secrets. The secrets they have can rest with that damned relationship. What I care about is keeping you away because brothers do not end up very differently.”

  “That is where you are wrong. I am my own man. You will come to see that one day.” Ayle shot Joanna the briefest of looks. “And although I have no secret places, I sometimes stroll through theirs to remember the love they once shared.”

  She opened the fan wide. Wait for me there.

  “The next time you stroll through, take a slight detour,” said Dunbrook. “Then you can go to Hell, instead.”

  A carriage arrived. Lord Dunbrook and his family climbed in. Lord Ayle watched the red fan close as Joanna disappeared inside. He stood there until they pulled away, and got small in the distance on that dark, country road.

  “I will wait forever if I have to,” he said.

  Chapter 3

  The river flowed quickly, splashing against the bank. Joanna followed it with trepidation. Her sister was beside her. The one that had gotten her heart broken not so long ago. The one that hated Lord Ayle’s brother more than anything else.

  “I do not see why you have to bring me back here, of all places,” said Phyllis.

  “You are the only one I could ask to come with me.”

  “But why does it have to be at a place that haunts me day and night?”

  “Father was relentless in his anger toward Lord Ayle. He would not listen to reason. We had to clandestinely choose a location to meet.”

  “This is my secret place. Time after time, I met my former fiance here. We shared things with each other that I did not know were even in my heart to be let out. We talked about everything beautiful in life. And now all that has been destroyed. The world is ugly again. All the pain leads back to our destination. It is not for you to choose.”

  “I didn’t. It chose me.”

  “Maybe it chooses us all.”

  Grass grew wild and dewy. It was soft underfoot as they followed the turns of the river to a place where the trees stood densely packed together. They were so big that they made Joanna feel small by comparison. She looked up and spun around to take it all in.

  “This is exactly the spot,” she said. “It is everything you told me about.”
r />   “It is. This is the place that still holds my heart.”

  “But why here? What makes it more special than anywhere else?”

  “You felt it the moment we entered the grove. You could not help looking to the very top of its branches and then the sky beyond. That is why. We felt like such tiny creatures standing underneath these giants. As if nothing else mattered in the world but being here together. Our problems were as small as we were.”

  “All these large trees also grant you a great deal of privacy,” said Lord Ayle as he stepped from behind one. “Not a soul passing by would ever suspect we are here.”

  Phyllis recoiled at the sudden intrusion. “We were engaged. What this place granted us is none of your concern.”

  “Forgive me. I did not mean for the comment to offend you.”

  “Your presence offends me. Whatever you say is secondary to that.”

  “I have played no part in the unpleasantness you and my brother went through.”

  “He told me his lies. Now you are here to tell my sister yours.”

  “What must I do to prove otherwise, Miss Phyllis? All I have is my word.”

  “There is nothing you can do.” She glanced at the river rushing by before saying it. “Die for her, maybe.”

  “That hardly comes up every day. And what would that show you if it ever did?”

  “It is the ultimate sacrifice of oneself for another. A dramatic manifestation of the sentiments behind your words. But mainly, it would make me happy if you did, my lord.”

  “That is quite enough,” said Joanna. “No one is dying today. And we did not come here to fight.”

  Phyllis stared at her sister. “I will consider the absurdities of life over there, so you may speak privately.”

  She went back the way they came and found a tree to lean against.

  Lord Ayle smiled at Joanna.

  “I am happy to see you again,” he said.

  “It feels like a hundred years since we were last together like this.”

  They strolled to the river’s edge. White caps formed where water slapped into rocks. The sun glinted off it. The rush of the current was a peaceful sound.